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Sunday, 28 October 2012

Mi almos' shot di Sheriff!

Hear mi now!

Afta mi life a tek one likkle uneventful kinda tone, mi buck up pon one likkle piece a drama-Tenk God fi small mercies!

So mi decide fi go look some stuff fi bake early mawnin', so(since dis story was set in night time) we set out inna di dark a look one open store.
Di one weh wi fin' neva suit my pocket so onward bound wi seh.
Afta a few hiccups-well dat was more like gyaapin', wi normalise out.
 Den as wi a mek wi way back to wi yaad, nuh one cyar dat behin' wi a flash wi.  We were in an extremely volatile area, so mi beg mi bredda nuh fi stop.
Hear mi, " A betta yuh drive yaw, a cudda who dat deh, afta wi nuh know nobaddy look so, drive up!"
So we continue pon wi merry way a good while, meanwhile di cyar bakka wi nuh stop flash wi.  Mi staat fi get nervous bad bad.
 Mi gi' out, "Den Lawd a yasso wi come fi go dead?  Dead so widout remedy???  Nobaddy else nuh deh pon di road as a witness- Jeesam Peace!!!!!!"
 Den mi poor (younger) brother who looked so bewildered and uncomfortable decided to stop.  He alighted from the vehicle, an' me instinctively falla bakka him-caw 'im one naw go dead so.  When wi look, nuh di po-po(police).  Ah nearly piss up miself when mi tink how long wi a 'void di law!  Gyad oh!  Mi tun fool same time, caw a wha dem cudda want at dis hour yah.
Mi heart nearly stap beat when one a di police mention di word, 'criminal' to 'im squaddy.  Mi staat fi stamma an walk up inna di cyar(sake a nervousness) a let out pure, "eeh? huh? wha?"  Di man dem look pon mi an' KNOW seh mi neva righted.  So dem jus tek di paper dem, give it a quick glance an' den run wi offa di road.

I was sooo weak, especially cuz that area is ridden with violence, there's no telling what could have gone down, and to think there was a killing in that community just days before.
Yuh cudda hear pon news how two young people were in an altercation with lawmen, after which a shootout ensued. Mark yuh, yours truly doesn't own a gun.  Den yuh wudda hear how di bullet weh mi fire wid mi fingatip(pow-pow) nearly graze di police officer dem and in self defense they did what was necessary!!

Ah tell yuh star!  Dat ting was a mess!
Dis yah baking yah haffi KNOW ITS PLACE!  Fi come wreck mi life?  Mi love toto, but nuh so!

Aye, mi gone...

Unno have a good week, yuh hear?
I'll let you know what's up.

Till then,
I am YOUR Jodi-podi!

Friday, 26 October 2012

A hug from me to you

Not a ting naw gwaan inna mi life yah now.  Nuh more toto naw bake tideh, no fantastic stories showcasing the shenanigans of our unique demographic... Everything at a stand still and ah don't know what the next move is.....
Grandma died last night, and prior to that I've been low on energy.
I guess there really is a season for everything under the sun.  Time fi jus 'buil'(chill).

Just letting y'all know I haven't forgotten you, nor am I too busy to post, just a little void of inspiration.

Let me take this opportunity to encourage us all to feed positive energy into the lives of those around us.
A little "I love you" here and there, now and then, can't hurt.  A warm hug, smile, kiss, bottom grab(go back up Jodi), shoulder pat, neck rub, chest massage(MISS!), belly rub-a-dub(just stop, because you're going off track just a little), are genital gentle expressions of affection which reaffirms the weary soul.

I resolve to speak life into the oftentimes plain existence we experience on this earth.

Take heart my loves!

I am your dripping-with-love-for-you Jodi

Monday, 22 October 2012

No raisins in my toto

Somebody ordered toto for today.

I have no raisins.  I will still bake it- raisin-less.
And .I.Will.Sell.
I must go on for life is not only sweet.  They shall eat it and content be.  I will arise to a new dawn, a season of bounty again.  But for now, I am still enough, enough for all I am called to do and I will do it with all that I am.

This is a place
This is a dry place
This is a dry and hard place
This place is void
Void of the life-giving, salubrious springs of joy and expectation
It is a barren place,
Large expanses of hay;
Brown earth, brown grass, brown muddy waters, brown sky, brown clouds, brown wind blowing off of brown sand.
The noisome thunder rolls in the distance.
It heralds the rain.

The brown earth will live again.
So will I.
I will take my rest in dusk.
I will rise with the morn.

I am your Jodi

I am Chibuzo

Yuh know wah jus cross mi mind as mi a wash some plate?
NO! Yuh don't know!

I was thinking, why it is, that many claim to be so afrocentric, yet it is little reflected in our naming system, that is, assigning an identity to our offspring.

A lie mi a tell?

Awrite den, tell mi when last you hear a bwoy pickeney named Cudjoe! or Kuntakente!
You hear no gyal pickeney inna recent times name Nanny?

A pure Oshaine, Rohan, Le-Noi, Terence and Jevon yuh a get fi bwoy names, di girl dem have pure stoosh up names: Khadine, Kamarsha, Jessica, and Samara.  Waapen to our original names?

Well it was just a thought.
 Tell me what you think.

I am your Chibuzo?

Mi cyaah surrenda 'Jodi', sorry!

I am your Jodi

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

What is your brand?

Hey loves!

Let's play a lil' game.   I will list a few brands of popular items.  I want for you to match those with the first adjective that comes to mind. (All my readers may not be familiar with some of the listed items, that's alright-just match the ones you can). Ready?  Let's go!!!

  1. Sunshine Snacks(Food manufacturing company) ________________
  2. Digicel(telephone company)                                ________________
  3. COURTS(furniture store)                                   ________________
  4. Snickers(Chocolate bar)                                     ________________
  5. Jamaica(Country)                                               ________________
  6. Crazy Jim(Icecream)                                          ________________
  7. Ritz Carlton(Hotel)                                             ________________
  8. Mercedes Benz(Car)                                          ________________
  9. Apple(Information technology company)             ________________
  10. Barack Obama(US President)                            ________________

Some of the brands may have gotten high ratings whilst others may have rated very low on the scale of excellence.  What are some of the adjectives that you used to describe the brands? My  adjectives were:
1. Mediocre
4.Decadent(gosh mi mout' staat fi spring one river)
6. Mediocre
7. Prestigious
8. Luxury
9. Exemplary
10. Debonair

If I placed your name right here:

Your name ___________________
What would be the first few adjectives that came to mind?  If I asked others about the adjectives they'd affix to your name, would it be complimentary?

Think about it.  Are you reflecting the image you would want to have roll off the tips of people's tongues instinctively?  What kind of role are you modelling?

Your brand is the mark you leave on the world.  Deliberate living is a conscious and calculated effort aimed at experiencing life in all its fullness, this should inspire a heightened awareness on the legacy we want to leave behind.
Are you reliable?  Trustworthy?  Sincere, genuine?  Pure?  Do you have integrity?
Are you vicious, callous, cold-hearted, dishonest, unappreciative, selfish, tending to avarice?
What's going on?
There comes a time when we ought to take stock of our lives.
I am taking inventory of myself, just thought I'd open my thoughts to you.

The fruit of the spirit gives us the standard that is expected of us-God's brand, the signature of His life taking effect in our lives.
I leave you with Philippians 4:8. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Let this be your brand.

I am your Jodi :-*

Sunday, 14 October 2012


Listen to my heartwarming little story!  I LOVE my life!
Today I got a +128 text from Digicel-ya know what that means!!!!
That's right, somebody sent me credit.  Touch yo' neighbour, say "GRACE".
But when mi tek a stock, mi nuh know di numba.  So mi tex' it asking, "Who is this?"
The person responded with a phone call.  He related how I'd sent him a "please credit me" request, which I denied because I hadn't used my phone all morning.  He tried to convince me that I did.  I was adamant that I hadn't.  He was very friendly and laughed at the episode.
He texted a few minutes later informing me that it was a mistake-he had misread the last digit.  He laughed again and said it was ok.
I needed that credit!!!!  Yes indeed.  I appreciated his graciousness and politeness.
There is virtue in the midst of all this mess.
Then while writing this post, he texted with-"Thought 4 z day. Ur attitude determines ur altitude.  If u tink positive about urself, u wil achieve all ur goals, bt if u ave negative thought about urself u wil never achieve anything out of life. D bottom line u need 2 change how u c urself cuz u r more than what u tink u r.J(eremiah) 33:3"

I also needed that word.  I felt like God sent bread from heaven in the mouth of a raven as He did for Elijah at the brook.  My soul was on 'E'-empty, and God reassured me in an unconventional way that He STILL cares.

I've been deriving comfort from this song lately-hope it blesses you tremendously.

I mean, I am your Jodi-pie (yummm)

Friday, 12 October 2012

Do I know you?

Yuh eva glad fi see smaddy yet?
Glad till yuh nuh teeven know yuhself?
A so mi did feel when mi did see mi fren from high school.
Di mistake mi mek-how foolish of me-was fi ASSUME seh she feel di same way too.  Eh Eh! Gyal barely waah open har mout'.  Ah shame!  Mi jus' switch same time an' gwaan like mi neva so glad neida-jus a do di pleasantries outta manners sake.  It cut mi man.  Jus' caw she tun big shot.
There are no guarantees in this life!  Frown pon di garbage man all yuh want, if him nuh clear weh yuh waste see if John Crow nuh come nyam weh yuh place, fly an' maggot(magic for those from St.Elizabeth) infestation tek ova.  Nex' ting yuh know-yuh property tun public health threat-haffi go quarantine di place-Contagion, den word spread, Worl' War III, Armageddon an' Star Wars buss out-di full gamut-yuh see how deep dis ting is!?!
Mek Ms. Thing move har sh!#-Good thing mi nuh nyam patty!(at least until I finish writing this blog).
Nex' day, mi see anedda fren from high school an' the reception was so WARM I thought I'd be cooked alive.  DIFFERENCE!  Wha di hypin' 'bout?  And might I add-she is also doing absolutely well.
Jus' 'level' in the words of the great intellect-Ninja man (or was it bounty killa) whichever of the geniuses-it is very applicable.
Pride cometh before a fall.
Jus level zeen?

I am your Jodi;)

Nuh badda wid di frettin' putus!


Di odda day mi a express to an ol' fren just how lost I was feeling.  It gets so crazy sometimes that I just shut myself away from people cuz I don't know how to qualify my feelings to them. That's just how introverts behave.  Yes! Mi a one introvert!  (Although everybaddy go thru dat still.)
So afta mi try explain my disappointment in not having achieved more, him break dung di scene fi mi properly.
Nuff people who yuh siddung a envy, wudda probably envy you if dem did privy to your details.  Di bredrin a mek mi know seh a plenty people-plenny-that are struggling to make car payments and can't even nourish their bodies with good food!(Eh-eh! an den waah come trus' out di whole a my toto-yuh maaad).  A pure gas full up dem baddy an mi bredda seh dah kind a gas deh cyaah full cyar tank.  A plenty sacrifice people haffi mek fi keep up appearances as well, sometimes likkle 'ting' haffi sell out an dese tings.
Di bible seh when yuh tek a stock inna di snactuary enuh-a desso di ting reveal out.
Mi aggo gwaan thru simple an' easy-no fanfare, nuttin', jus humble an' easy.  Wha yuh seh? U too? yeah man, all a wi inna dis ting.
Mi a encourage one and all fi hol' di faith-nuh watch nobaddy.  Tek yuh time mek yuh likkle mark, be content and praise yuh God.

A yuh likkle sista dis, as always memba seh nuh baddy naw tek mi weh from yuh, yuh safe;)
I am YOUR Jodi

Hey love!

Hey peoples!!!!
I missed you all so much!
I seriously feel connected to you all, even the people I do not know-I see y'all in the readership statistics and I feel ya, you're not just numbers to me at all, you're wonderful beings loaded with potential, beauty and promise.
I prayed for my readers today-all of you, and I hope that God does something very special for you.

 I am most definitely your Jodi
(An' you belong to me;)))

Monday, 8 October 2012

New game graces Athletics-TRAN'SPORT'

Mi Seh! My. oh. my!

Git up outta mi bed from 4:00 clock (and YES that is A.M.), seh a prayer, meditate, an' buss a likkle stretch.  Afta di stretching, mi gear up fi di laps weh mi haffi go do roun' Spanish Town.
Reach out inna di town in good time too enuh.  Mi a come fi know the drill yah now-it gwine tek mi 1 whole hour fi get a taxi but first, mi haffi walk out di gas station, den bakka one wildaness near the train line, den walk all di way go dung a one plaza, den back up to di gas station, till mi come to mi final restin' place-side-a di Shoppin' centre deh so.  Mi nuh know a wah kinda lifestyle dat deh.
Mi DONE man!!!  Dis mawning a crass so till!  Mi nearly late AGAIN!  Mek dem a ramp wid people life so!  Yuh a ggo tell me seh mi haffi wake from 2 o' clock an' lay wait di fuss bus from bout 4 o clock inna di heart a Spanish Town fi reach work at 7 a.m.?
Afta mi done lap dat deh town deh before work, den do couple laps roun' di establishment weh mi work mi suppose fi fava di champion thoroughbred haas(horse) dem uppa caymanas.  Hear mi racehorse name-Dogheelsdonkeysplurt! Mad! Maaaaad! Mi loike! Nuh badda frowns up pon mi name-nuhbaddy ask yuh nuttin, mi nuh waah yuh opinion Miss and Mister Sir!  An yuh know seh mi toe dem still a bun mi from di heels from di odda day! Gracious man!  Mi nuh like di system none't-all.

DEN dis girl siddung side a mi inna di back a di taxi.  She nuh stop buck.  Mi 'llow har fi do har ting TILL me realise seh wi face aggo meet an har mout in very close proximity to mine.  Mi touch har inna har head-gently-how? genkle, genkle meek an' mild-CAW-mi neva know how deep di sleep was an' how she aggo react when roused from slumba-'pose shi did 'tab mi!!!  She wake up an' apologise an' before shi cudda done seh "sorry", is a nex' roun' a buckin.  Den mi staat grow nervous caw dah gyal yah is a country gyal(I deduced based on her heavy accent and manner of dress).  Hey, country people skull T'ICK enuh.  Mi jus a see how when fi har head connec' wid fi mi how mi naw go mek it! Cyaah afford dat star!  Di worse paat a seh nuttin naw go do she.  Is like when yuh lick a jilapy(ol' cyar) dem nuh as much as dent but fi yuh crissas RiGhT Off!  Mi neva aggo tek no chances- mi shoob weh har face an' it stay shoob to di nex man side a har.  Him neva look so intimidated like miself but 'im sure wasn't accommodating.
Mi get a real good chuckle outta dah one deh tho-caw mi did VEX bout di marathon mi did jus haffi run fi ketch di lilly ride into town. Yuh see why our runners haffi boss! TRAN'SPORT'!!!
Aye aye aye!  A mawning again?

Oh lawd!

Mi nuh figet Kamarsha! Drum roll....................................................


(Gyal yuh fi write)

Love you all soooooo much.

Mek mi buss a small choops pon unnuh-look how di country gyal nearly tek it widout aksin'!

Saturday, 6 October 2012

Eeh dog? yuh nuh wear heels!?

Mi Seh!
I went out today, struttin ma stuff yes: working some fancy heels up an' down di 24 boxes.  It was cute for the first half of the day-TILL mi foot staat fi gi' way.  Toe dem staat 'queeze up yuh see!  Mi push thru tho cause(tilts head to the side, smacks lips real ghetto style)- I's tryna look cute!

On the way home one piece a rain buss weh an' flood out di whole place, mi haffi run go ketch one tiefin', lyad bus-yes bus lie-caw it seh "express" an if one ghetto ooman neva staat class up di driva all now wi wudda a stop stop everyweh- bou' how him haffi loyal to fi him people dem who 'im pick up a mawnin' time!  Who an' 'im?  Nuh baddy nuh bizniss wid him an him mawnin' rendezvous-a mi yaad mi a try ketch.
Hennyhoo, mi 'tan up inna di bus fi di whole ride inna mi boas'y boot wid mi boas'y corn dem a spring up pon mi boas'y toe dem.  Mi tink seh mi lose mi foot dem at dis point. Talk about feeling defeated de-feeted.  De-board di bus an' is a nex' crasses.
Mi haffi a fight off di crowd fi get inna one taxi cuz rain a tear an' everybaddy wah fi g'a dem yaad. Mi a limp an a run same way a try block off di people dem wid mi elbow extended way out inna di air as a weapon of destruction fi lick dung any man, bwoy, gyal(said in the Prime Minister's tone of voice), ol' ooman(NO MISS, yuh wrong fo' dat), anybaddy( but yuh know in all a dis, mi  heels spare mi from direct contact wid di murky water wid all kinda pee-pee, spit, do-do, nose-naat an' other bodily nastiness from animal,  man .....awrite mi done, mi done, mi done).

Den mi buck a dawg a walk gingerly, a swing hip an a crass road daintily-not a sorrow, not a pain, no agony, toe dem corn-free, posture upright an' him a move well agile an' ting. Nuttin' fi slow im dung.  Mi look pon him an' den pon miself, den right back pon him an seh to him, "eeh dawg? yuh nuh wear heels!!" Di lilly dawg neva so much as  fi look pon mi-nuh teeven sideways.  Him dis scampa gone while mi a loggo-loggo dung di road.  At dis point mi jus' waah halla fi HELP!  Chile! I mek a pledge!!!! Mi cyaah subjec' miself to such cruelty.  Men don't do it, dogs don't do it(mi notice seh man an' dog have a few t'ings in common).  Why should I?
Same so mi did look, a crawl a go a mi yaad. De-feet!  Mi did haffi sen' out one SOS fi smaddy come pick mi up.  Mi foot dem dis a tremble an' mi a walk wid a deep knee bend.  Mi nuh like fi see it, so mi cuddn stan' di fac' seh it was happening to me.

God NEVA tell nobody fi mek dah boot deh-straight up.  Whoever inspired it, write mi name pon it fi mi demise.  Mi haffi go dash it weh.  

Wait! Den, a wha a gwaan yasso?  Dawg? If yuh know wah mi know.......

Ketch unnu lata!

Monday, 1 October 2012

Top 10 Jamaican Foods

1.Patty and Co-Co Bread

2.Bun and Cheese

3.Ackee and Salfish

4.Curried Goat


6.Banana Chips



9.Toto (yay!)

10.Rice and Peas and Jerked Chicken(The two aren't necessarily eaten together but mi naw leff out di toto)

Honorary Members of the favourite Jamaican foods are fried dumplings, escoveitched fish, festival, bammy, and pudding(cornmeal and sweet potato)...What else am I missing? If you can think of anything put it in the comment section below. 

I am your peckish Jodi(nom-nom-nom)