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Tuesday, 25 December 2012

Seasoning Greetings!

Hey guys!!!!

Long time mi nuh pos' eeh?
Well, mi jus drop een tideh fi bless all a oonu UP!




Seasoning greetings to all my spicy folk-all ma paprikas, pimentos, gingers, gyawlicks, onions an' scotch bonnet peops!

You all have enriched my life, just by stopping by to extend your ears to my tales.

I love and appreciate you all!

Thanks for the support and may this season yield uncommon favour and supernatural blessings!

You are mine, and I am yours, your Jodi, now and forever.  Forever? Forever!

Toodles....

Monday, 10 December 2012

Dip inna di healin' stream

Mi SEH!!!

Mi haffi get dis offa mi ches' but it neva safe fi approach di page while mi did still bex.  A pure indecent tings didda crass mi mind!
Afta mi leff mi yaad come a country in seek of wuk, mi come fi hear seh, nuttin naw go gwaan!!!!!
Eeh?
Mi waah bawl an cuss an lif' up mi frack simultaneously.  Mi cyaah deal wid suh much gyawbage.  Come een like mi ha' one sign heng pon mi farrid mark"City Dump".  Mi tell one a mi fren dem seh me is a qualified, certified laughing stock.
Box yuh neighbour if yuh know wah mi a talk bout...nuh tell nobaddy seh mi tell unoo fi tear dem wid lick enuh!!! Mi nuh able...
Boy mi get a save when mi fren come in pon di scene.  She reminded mi how Naaman did haffi dip seven times inna di murky water.  Sometimes when wi a buck di crasses dem back a dem one anedda a dip wi a  dip inna wi likkle dirty Riva Jordan.  Six times naw go do it- a seven times.  So crasses can walk in sevens too!!!  An ask if mi naw dip inna fi mi dutty Ganges riva-(apologies to my small readership in India, and Hindus from sweet T&T....mi nuh have none from Bangladesh so mi gud)

Or maybe wi a lick a Job season, when wi haffi showcase seh a nuh fish an' bread wi a serve God fah!
God nuh wicked!!!! Mi SURE a dat!  Him nuh love see people suffa-mi believe seh dat bleed Him heart big time.  But wi haffi get tested.
Bwoy mi fail dah tes' yah star!
Wi haffi hol' on during the rough times.

Hennyhoo....
Mi gone!

I am your Jodi, your Jodi, yours for keeps...

Go Sof'


These days I’m hearing plenty about the ‘go-hard’ phenomenon, and, and well, I like it!
It suits my personality-the fierce go-getter that I am.  I am inclined to go after my dreams with an unquenchable tenacity, an undisputable resolve that will most times be impenetrable to roadblocks, insults and pain.  Affixed to this mantra is passion, aggressiveness/assertiveness, stick-to-itiveness to which I am not averse.

So we’ve all bought into a hardcore mentality which is great, but as I sat contemplatively last evening a thought danced across my mind, ‘Go soft Jodi’.  Go soft?  Go which freackin’ soft-aint nobody got time fo’ dat!!!!!!! (that’s right Sweet Brown, I got you girl ;-) )  I tried to shake that lame proposition.  I.am.not. going.soft.  Then the go soft philosophy came back to me this morning-yes hounded me from all di way from desso to yasso(the ‘Go soft’ fairy ah go haad wid di ting yow)and I finally had to concur.

What does going soft really mean?
For me, it is an encouragement to go human-I can be so mechanical in pursuing my interests that I lose that gentle sweetness.  
Going soft means to become vulnerable-these aren't the things I want to hear, especially when EVERY TIME I allow myself to become vulnerable, I get hurt-happens EVERY TIME!  
Going soft means being willing to be open. 
It means that I must take my time.  Don’t rush into things quite so blindly-take a step back.
It means that I’m to listen to my intuition.
It means to surrender my own thoughts and feelings on a matter. It means giving an ear to the thoughts of others and lending my heart to understand their pain-even if I get hurt in the process.

Going soft in my mind had such a negative connotation, like ‘go limp’-I HATE THAT! It doesn't even sound right.  BUT, I've now come to terms that it does not for a moment imply that I should become a doormat, or weak, or life-less.  In fact, the more I go soft is the more compassionate I become, the more connected I am to the human condition, the more genuine and real I am.  I evolve into a state of awareness and sensitivity.   I’ll never forget the words a favourite lecturer of mine told the class-your technical skills will get you the job, but your soft skills will keep you there.  Soft skills? The beauty of your spirit. 

From a clinical nutritional stance (mi haffi go deh-‘llow mi), a soft diet is prescribed for those undergoing oral mechanical difficulties-it is modified by consistency/texture to accommodate their needs in order to make food more palatable.  Similarly, some a wi too haad an’ barky barky-too tough, like ol’ fowl-stringy and indigestible.  My life has been going through a little pressure cooking stage where I am becoming a little more sensitive to people’s needs, a little more appreciable to those around who may be a little compromised, providing that tenderness and gentleness of spirit needed to cheer those around me. 

 I am in no wise discounting the sagacity of going hard, I’m calling for balance.  In all your go-hardings, going hards, hard going,cho blow-wow...In all that you do, don’t forget to be civil, gracious, thankful, sometimes a little reticent, understanding, compassionate and simple. Again, the go soft philosophy is not paradoxical to the go hard philosophy but complementary. Do yuh ting, but in a kind way-and don’t forget those around you.

Who loves you like I do?
(chirping crickets)…That’s right!  NOBODY!

I am your Jodi today and always!

Monday, 26 November 2012

Sister Sanctimonious


We all know them- the self-righteous individuals who do no wrong.  They are spotless in reputation, free from guile, void of character flaws.
Because they are never wrong, they never need to apologise-even when they have done "less-than good".
These are among the most difficult people to appreciate.  The staunch, unwavering, stubborn approach to life is actually rooted in selfishness and pride-among the most despised vices listed in scripture.
We.are.all.human.  We all make mistakes.  We injure people knowingly and unknowingly.
Taking a childlike approach to living is the antidote.  This approach  is grounded in humility.
These overly spiritual people drive others away with their callousness.
Do you ever wonder how certain people, though linked with spiritual giants, go off to make the worst mistakes?
"A how she breed fi dat deh man deh an har fatha a pasta?"
"So a really batty man him go tun?  Look pon di family 'im come from!"
"What a gyal pickeney love man!  Har madda a praya warriah enuh!!!"

Listen! When yuh too holy-righteous, yuh sen' people inna di wrong direction.  Yuh shoob dem weh from yuh an lan' dem inna di arms of danger-den nuh muss!!! A which smaddy aggo siddung unda abuse day in- day out so.

There is a danger in being spiritual to the neglect of the other aspects of our person-what of the social, mental, and physical?  I believe that being spiritual should translate into balance.  It should soften and sweeten my personality and make me more sensitive to others.  By no means am I suggesting that one should become a walk-over.  I am simply emphasizing the beauty of spirit which should be characteristic of the truly sanctimonious.

Yeah man, just know seh a proud and insensitive spirit is antagonistic to a truly holy character.

A mi seh so!

I am your Jodi.....

Love you guys so much!

Monday, 12 November 2012

The heels are alive with the sound of music

Mi affi tell unoo bout one likkle ting weh mi go pon recently!!!!
Heheyah!
He told me we were going to a concert.  Now, despite di patois, mi is a classical chick-love fine arts and the whole nine yards.
So when mi hear concert, mi tink:


Awrite!!!!Maybe not!!!! BUT! I ascribe a little sophistication, elegance and class to the idea of a concert.   N.B.-He said it was an evening of dance-so nuh fine arts dat inna fi mi classical mind! 
Eh-Eh!

I pulled out an ensemble out of my wardrobe resembling:
Less the clutch, accessories, and sweater.  Insert thick gray and black leggings.  I thought it was cute and appropriate.....UNTIL......

Enter escort:


Awwwww Nawwwwwww!!!!!!! That's not even true! NEXT!

Enter ESCORT:

Insert accessories...and yup!  Can u say DISPARITY!!!!!!!  
It was VERY awkward FOR HIM!
I was being me, he was being him-he's pretty laid back, not fussy at all.
Thing is, the majority of persons in attendance looked like him, whilst a few, looked a little like me. 
I was comfortable in my own skin, but uncomfortable because of how uncomfortable he was.

I was not to be deterred however, I rocked out my high heels to the sound of that music-in a mild-mannered but meaningful way.

I had hoped we would have complemented  each other, but wadever chile! I learnt through that experience to be me-all me, in spite of how everyone looks around me.  Conformity is important yes, but conformity doesn't always translate into uniformity.


Ah well it could have been worse!

You know what?  I'm not gonna murmur nor complain!

I am your incredibly-grateful-my-date-didn't-show-up-in-dem-shorts Jodi!





Thursday, 8 November 2012

My yellow bus bigga dan your pretty van

Travelling these Jamaican streets via public transportation has given me unique insight into the dynamics of life in general and has taught important life lessons.

Yellow Bus.  The JUTC services availed by our (gulps hard-hypocrisy alert!) caring, considerate and efficient government(mi feel a strange hellish heat a while ago), provides affordable and relatively safe transportation for commuters. When mi first enter di luxury bus of a vehicle mi was pleasantly surprised-AC, soft seat, tinted glass, good shocks, di ting nice man!  I often times yearn for my own vehicle, just to shut out the world.  When, however, I hand over my JA$80, and find a cozy window seat high above cars, minivans, pick-up trucks and coaster buses, I recline in the liberty of an uncomplicated life of no insurance, no fitness, no police stops, no duco-ing, no cleaning, no maintenance, nothing.  And yet, dis yah available form of transportation is scoffed at by many.
I am not saying that my yellow bus is better than your pretty van because your pretty van nice bad!  In fact, it is very convenient!
I'm simply saying that it is bigger, that is, my mentality appreciates the breadth of a perspective that acknowledges the uncomplicated beauty of a minimalist lifestyle. 

Flash forward to the natural world around us.

Take a look at water.  This free resource has been manipulated by manufacturing giants and then retailed back to us in the form of bottled water, much of which is the same germ-infested, piss-ridden, incorrigible 'stuff' that is present in untreated water sources.  Yuh don't believe me?  In an experiment that tested ten major brands of water the overall quality was shown to be less than was claimed. 
Read di report right yasso: http://www.ewg.org/reports/BottledWater/Bottled-Water-Quality-Investigation Den nuh might as well wi jus dip wi head inna di dutty Ganges dung a India(or Bangladesh-whicheva yuh preffa) an' swalla haad.* Coughs and clears throat*  

 I'm just coming from the country where there were fruits and veg in abundance.  Wha mi seh?  Yuh jus go henka  a di neighba yaad an dem pick up di rake-staat let off dem likkle dis an dem likkle dat.  Come a town-oops- venture into the city, an' is a whole set a tiefin' and extortion.   Hey, farmer barely a mek nuttin enuh, a di higgler dem weh capitalise pon dem a mek di profit(an mi naw bash higgla caw memba seh me is a paat a di association).  Supermarket produce is marketed as the choicest, while the produce directly from farm is poorly regarded.  That's a mentality that's been inherited-uptown is better than downtown and in this particular case, town betta dan country.  Instead of celebrating the differences, we use them to create a caste system.  

The essence of this post is that simple is bigger. The naturally available and abundant resources in its uncultivated, unaffected forms are much more beneficial and accessible than the processed, synthetic and unwholesome byproducts presented to us as the utmost and best. 
Thing is, provision has been made for us all, that is, air, sunlight, trees, sun and moon to which we are all privy-we all have access.  These are the things we cannot live without; they are abundant and unintended for exploitation  however as selfish human beings tending to avarice, we try to capitalise on natural endowments. Who gave us that authority?  Even though we pride ourselves on being stewards of this great world, our manipulation of the natural world can never in any way compare to the large-scale raw materials(which may in and of itself not be raw after all, but highly refined by a Divine order for human use) that was drafted by an infinite intellect.

Why is my yellow bus bigga dan your pretty van?  Because it affords:

  • more freedom, 
  • an opportunity to socialise with the 'common folk', 
  • less responsibility to maintain, 
  • a community/organisation whose purpose is to handle all transportation-related grievances, which means that there is an entity to whom I can complain  and whose a$$ I can sue. 
Although the yellow bus bigga, the only drawback that I dislike immensely, is that from this area of elevation there is a  panoramic view of the bike man's(in front of us...shoooo) incredibly deep, dark and dreadful butt crack(which appears to have its own ecosystem-no, not so much a jungle but close....stop pressing for detailed descriptions because I cannot verbalise the spectacle).

I am your blinking-from-that-most-disturbing-sight Jodi

Sunday, 28 October 2012

Mi almos' shot di Sheriff!

NO SAH!
Hear mi now!

Afta mi life a tek one likkle uneventful kinda tone, mi buck up pon one likkle piece a drama-Tenk God fi small mercies!

So mi decide fi go look some stuff fi bake early mawnin', so(since dis story was set in night time) we set out inna di dark a look one open store.
Di one weh wi fin' neva suit my pocket so onward bound wi seh.
Afta a few hiccups-well dat was more like gyaapin', wi normalise out.
 Den as wi a mek wi way back to wi yaad, nuh one cyar dat behin' wi a flash wi.  We were in an extremely volatile area, so mi beg mi bredda nuh fi stop.
Hear mi, " A betta yuh drive yaw, a cudda who dat deh, afta wi nuh know nobaddy look so, drive up!"
So we continue pon wi merry way a good while, meanwhile di cyar bakka wi nuh stop flash wi.  Mi staat fi get nervous bad bad.
 Mi gi' out, "Den Lawd a yasso wi come fi go dead?  Dead so widout remedy???  Nobaddy else nuh deh pon di road as a witness- Jeesam Peace!!!!!!"
 Den mi poor (younger) brother who looked so bewildered and uncomfortable decided to stop.  He alighted from the vehicle, an' me instinctively falla bakka him-caw 'im one naw go dead so.  When wi look, nuh di po-po(police).  Ah nearly piss up miself when mi tink how long wi a 'void di law!  Gyad oh!  Mi tun fool same time, caw a wha dem cudda want at dis hour yah.
Mi heart nearly stap beat when one a di police mention di word, 'criminal' to 'im squaddy.  Mi staat fi stamma an walk up inna di cyar(sake a nervousness) a let out pure, "eeh? huh? wha?"  Di man dem look pon mi an' KNOW seh mi neva righted.  So dem jus tek di paper dem, give it a quick glance an' den run wi offa di road.

I was sooo weak, especially cuz that area is ridden with violence, there's no telling what could have gone down, and to think there was a killing in that community just days before.
Yuh cudda hear pon news how two young people were in an altercation with lawmen, after which a shootout ensued. Mark yuh, yours truly doesn't own a gun.  Den yuh wudda hear how di bullet weh mi fire wid mi fingatip(pow-pow) nearly graze di police officer dem and in self defense they did what was necessary!!

My GOD!
Ah tell yuh star!  Dat ting was a mess!
Dis yah baking yah haffi KNOW ITS PLACE!  Fi come wreck mi life?  Mi love toto, but nuh so!

Aye, mi gone...

Unno have a good week, yuh hear?
I'll let you know what's up.

Till then,
I am YOUR Jodi-podi!

Friday, 26 October 2012

A hug from me to you

Not a ting naw gwaan inna mi life yah now.  Nuh more toto naw bake tideh, no fantastic stories showcasing the shenanigans of our unique demographic... Everything at a stand still and ah don't know what the next move is.....
Whew!
Grandma died last night, and prior to that I've been low on energy.
I guess there really is a season for everything under the sun.  Time fi jus 'buil'(chill).

Just letting y'all know I haven't forgotten you, nor am I too busy to post, just a little void of inspiration.

Let me take this opportunity to encourage us all to feed positive energy into the lives of those around us.
A little "I love you" here and there, now and then, can't hurt.  A warm hug, smile, kiss, bottom grab(go back up Jodi), shoulder pat, neck rub, chest massage(MISS!), belly rub-a-dub(just stop, because you're going off track just a little), are genital gentle expressions of affection which reaffirms the weary soul.

I resolve to speak life into the oftentimes plain existence we experience on this earth.

Take heart my loves!



I am your dripping-with-love-for-you Jodi

Monday, 22 October 2012

No raisins in my toto

Somebody ordered toto for today.

I have no raisins.  I will still bake it- raisin-less.
And .I.Will.Sell.
I must go on for life is not only sweet.  They shall eat it and content be.  I will arise to a new dawn, a season of bounty again.  But for now, I am still enough, enough for all I am called to do and I will do it with all that I am.

This is a place
This is a dry place
This is a dry and hard place
This place is void
Void of the life-giving, salubrious springs of joy and expectation
It is a barren place,
with
Large expanses of hay;
Brown earth, brown grass, brown muddy waters, brown sky, brown clouds, brown wind blowing off of brown sand.
The noisome thunder rolls in the distance.
It heralds the rain.

The brown earth will live again.
So will I.
I will take my rest in dusk.
I will rise with the morn.

I am your Jodi

I am Chibuzo

Yuh know wah jus cross mi mind as mi a wash some plate?
NO! Yuh don't know!

I was thinking, why it is, that many claim to be so afrocentric, yet it is little reflected in our naming system, that is, assigning an identity to our offspring.

A lie mi a tell?

Awrite den, tell mi when last you hear a bwoy pickeney named Cudjoe! or Kuntakente!
You hear no gyal pickeney inna recent times name Nanny?

A pure Oshaine, Rohan, Le-Noi, Terence and Jevon yuh a get fi bwoy names, di girl dem have pure stoosh up names: Khadine, Kamarsha, Jessica, and Samara.  Waapen to our original names?

Well it was just a thought.
 Tell me what you think.

I am your Chibuzo?

Mi cyaah surrenda 'Jodi', sorry!

I am your Jodi

Wednesday, 17 October 2012

What is your brand?

Hey loves!

Let's play a lil' game.   I will list a few brands of popular items.  I want for you to match those with the first adjective that comes to mind. (All my readers may not be familiar with some of the listed items, that's alright-just match the ones you can). Ready?  Let's go!!!


  1. Sunshine Snacks(Food manufacturing company) ________________
  2. Digicel(telephone company)                                ________________
  3. COURTS(furniture store)                                   ________________
  4. Snickers(Chocolate bar)                                     ________________
  5. Jamaica(Country)                                               ________________
  6. Crazy Jim(Icecream)                                          ________________
  7. Ritz Carlton(Hotel)                                             ________________
  8. Mercedes Benz(Car)                                          ________________
  9. Apple(Information technology company)             ________________
  10. Barack Obama(US President)                            ________________

Some of the brands may have gotten high ratings whilst others may have rated very low on the scale of excellence.  What are some of the adjectives that you used to describe the brands? My  adjectives were:
1. Mediocre
2.Charitable
3."T'ief"
4.Decadent(gosh mi mout' staat fi spring one river)
5.Pride
6. Mediocre
7. Prestigious
8. Luxury
9. Exemplary
10. Debonair

If I placed your name right here:

Your name ___________________
What would be the first few adjectives that came to mind?  If I asked others about the adjectives they'd affix to your name, would it be complimentary?

Think about it.  Are you reflecting the image you would want to have roll off the tips of people's tongues instinctively?  What kind of role are you modelling?

Your brand is the mark you leave on the world.  Deliberate living is a conscious and calculated effort aimed at experiencing life in all its fullness, this should inspire a heightened awareness on the legacy we want to leave behind.
Are you reliable?  Trustworthy?  Sincere, genuine?  Pure?  Do you have integrity?
Are you vicious, callous, cold-hearted, dishonest, unappreciative, selfish, tending to avarice?
What's going on?
There comes a time when we ought to take stock of our lives.
I am taking inventory of myself, just thought I'd open my thoughts to you.

The fruit of the spirit gives us the standard that is expected of us-God's brand, the signature of His life taking effect in our lives.
I leave you with Philippians 4:8. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Let this be your brand.

I am your Jodi :-*

Sunday, 14 October 2012

Textuality

Listen to my heartwarming little story!  I LOVE my life!
Today I got a +128 text from Digicel-ya know what that means!!!!
That's right, somebody sent me credit.  Touch yo' neighbour, say "GRACE".
But when mi tek a stock, mi nuh know di numba.  So mi tex' it asking, "Who is this?"
The person responded with a phone call.  He related how I'd sent him a "please credit me" request, which I denied because I hadn't used my phone all morning.  He tried to convince me that I did.  I was adamant that I hadn't.  He was very friendly and laughed at the episode.
He texted a few minutes later informing me that it was a mistake-he had misread the last digit.  He laughed again and said it was ok.
I needed that credit!!!!  Yes indeed.  I appreciated his graciousness and politeness.
There is virtue in the midst of all this mess.
Ah!
Then while writing this post, he texted with-"Thought 4 z day. Ur attitude determines ur altitude.  If u tink positive about urself, u wil achieve all ur goals, bt if u ave negative thought about urself u wil never achieve anything out of life. D bottom line u need 2 change how u c urself cuz u r more than what u tink u r.J(eremiah) 33:3"

I also needed that word.  I felt like God sent bread from heaven in the mouth of a raven as He did for Elijah at the brook.  My soul was on 'E'-empty, and God reassured me in an unconventional way that He STILL cares.

I've been deriving comfort from this song lately-hope it blesses you tremendously.



Love,
Jodi
I mean, I am your Jodi-pie (yummm)

Friday, 12 October 2012

Do I know you?

Yuh eva glad fi see smaddy yet?
Glad till yuh nuh teeven know yuhself?
A so mi did feel when mi did see mi fren from high school.
Di mistake mi mek-how foolish of me-was fi ASSUME seh she feel di same way too.  Eh Eh! Gyal barely waah open har mout'.  Ah shame!  Mi jus' switch same time an' gwaan like mi neva so glad neida-jus a do di pleasantries outta manners sake.  It cut mi man.  Jus' caw she tun big shot.
There are no guarantees in this life!  Frown pon di garbage man all yuh want, if him nuh clear weh yuh waste see if John Crow nuh come nyam weh yuh place, fly an' maggot(magic for those from St.Elizabeth) infestation tek ova.  Nex' ting yuh know-yuh property tun public health threat-haffi go quarantine di place-Contagion, den word spread, Worl' War III, Armageddon an' Star Wars buss out-di full gamut-yuh see how deep dis ting is!?!
Mek Ms. Thing move har sh!#-Good thing mi nuh nyam patty!(at least until I finish writing this blog).
Nex' day, mi see anedda fren from high school an' the reception was so WARM I thought I'd be cooked alive.  DIFFERENCE!  Wha di hypin' 'bout?  And might I add-she is also doing absolutely well.
Jus' 'level' in the words of the great intellect-Ninja man (or was it bounty killa) whichever of the geniuses-it is very applicable.
Pride cometh before a fall.
Jus level zeen?

I am your Jodi;)

Nuh badda wid di frettin' putus!


{IMAGINARY PICTURE THAT IS APPROPRIATE FOR THE BLOG POST}



Di odda day mi a express to an ol' fren just how lost I was feeling.  It gets so crazy sometimes that I just shut myself away from people cuz I don't know how to qualify my feelings to them. That's just how introverts behave.  Yes! Mi a one introvert!  (Although everybaddy go thru dat still.)
So afta mi try explain my disappointment in not having achieved more, him break dung di scene fi mi properly.
Nuff people who yuh siddung a envy, wudda probably envy you if dem did privy to your details.  Di bredrin a mek mi know seh a plenty people-plenny-that are struggling to make car payments and can't even nourish their bodies with good food!(Eh-eh! an den waah come trus' out di whole a my toto-yuh maaad).  A pure gas full up dem baddy an mi bredda seh dah kind a gas deh cyaah full cyar tank.  A plenty sacrifice people haffi mek fi keep up appearances as well, sometimes likkle 'ting' haffi sell out an dese tings.
Di bible seh when yuh tek a stock inna di snactuary enuh-a desso di ting reveal out.
Mi aggo gwaan thru simple an' easy-no fanfare, nuttin', jus humble an' easy.  Wha yuh seh? U too? yeah man, all a wi inna dis ting.
Mi a encourage one and all fi hol' di faith-nuh watch nobaddy.  Tek yuh time mek yuh likkle mark, be content and praise yuh God.

A yuh likkle sista dis, as always memba seh nuh baddy naw tek mi weh from yuh, yuh safe;)
I am YOUR Jodi

Hey love!

Hey peoples!!!!
I missed you all so much!
I seriously feel connected to you all, even the people I do not know-I see y'all in the readership statistics and I feel ya, you're not just numbers to me at all, you're wonderful beings loaded with potential, beauty and promise.
I prayed for my readers today-all of you, and I hope that God does something very special for you.

Smoochies!
 I am most definitely your Jodi
(An' you belong to me;)))

Monday, 8 October 2012

New game graces Athletics-TRAN'SPORT'

Mi Seh! My. oh. my!

Git up outta mi bed from 4:00 clock (and YES that is A.M.), seh a prayer, meditate, an' buss a likkle stretch.  Afta di stretching, mi gear up fi di laps weh mi haffi go do roun' Spanish Town.
Reach out inna di town in good time too enuh.  Mi a come fi know the drill yah now-it gwine tek mi 1 whole hour fi get a taxi but first, mi haffi walk out di gas station, den bakka one wildaness near the train line, den walk all di way go dung a one plaza, den back up to di gas station, till mi come to mi final restin' place-side-a di Shoppin' centre deh so.  Mi nuh know a wah kinda lifestyle dat deh.
Mi DONE man!!!  Dis mawning a crass so till!  Mi nearly late AGAIN!  Mek dem a ramp wid people life so!  Yuh a ggo tell me seh mi haffi wake from 2 o' clock an' lay wait di fuss bus from bout 4 o clock inna di heart a Spanish Town fi reach work at 7 a.m.?
Afta mi done lap dat deh town deh before work, den do couple laps roun' di establishment weh mi work mi suppose fi fava di champion thoroughbred haas(horse) dem uppa caymanas.  Hear mi racehorse name-Dogheelsdonkeysplurt! Mad! Maaaaad! Mi loike! Nuh badda frowns up pon mi name-nuhbaddy ask yuh nuttin, mi nuh waah yuh opinion Miss and Mister Sir!  An yuh know seh mi toe dem still a bun mi from di heels from di odda day! Gracious man!  Mi nuh like di system none't-all.

DEN dis girl siddung side a mi inna di back a di taxi.  She nuh stop buck.  Mi 'llow har fi do har ting TILL me realise seh wi face aggo meet an har mout in very close proximity to mine.  Mi touch har inna har head-gently-how? genkle, genkle meek an' mild-CAW-mi neva know how deep di sleep was an' how she aggo react when roused from slumba-'pose shi did 'tab mi!!!  She wake up an' apologise an' before shi cudda done seh "sorry", is a nex' roun' a buckin.  Den mi staat grow nervous caw dah gyal yah is a country gyal(I deduced based on her heavy accent and manner of dress).  Hey, country people skull T'ICK enuh.  Mi jus a see how when fi har head connec' wid fi mi how mi naw go mek it! Cyaah afford dat star!  Di worse paat a seh nuttin naw go do she.  Is like when yuh lick a jilapy(ol' cyar) dem nuh as much as dent but fi yuh crissas RiGhT Off!  Mi neva aggo tek no chances- mi shoob weh har face an' it stay shoob to di nex man side a har.  Him neva look so intimidated like miself but 'im sure wasn't accommodating.
Mi get a real good chuckle outta dah one deh tho-caw mi did VEX bout di marathon mi did jus haffi run fi ketch di lilly ride into town. Yuh see why our runners haffi boss! TRAN'SPORT'!!!
Aye aye aye!  A mawning again?

Oh lawd!

Mi nuh figet Kamarsha! Drum roll....................................................

I AM YOUR JODAYYYY!!

(Gyal yuh fi write)

Love you all soooooo much.

HUGS!!!!
Mek mi buss a small choops pon unnuh-look how di country gyal nearly tek it widout aksin'!
Laters!

Saturday, 6 October 2012

Eeh dog? yuh nuh wear heels!?

Mi Seh!
I went out today, struttin ma stuff yes: working some fancy heels up an' down di 24 boxes.  It was cute for the first half of the day-TILL mi foot staat fi gi' way.  Toe dem staat 'queeze up yuh see!  Mi push thru tho cause(tilts head to the side, smacks lips real ghetto style)- I's tryna look cute!

On the way home one piece a rain buss weh an' flood out di whole place, mi haffi run go ketch one tiefin', lyad bus-yes bus lie-caw it seh "express" an if one ghetto ooman neva staat class up di driva all now wi wudda a stop stop everyweh- bou' how him haffi loyal to fi him people dem who 'im pick up a mawnin' time!  Who an' 'im?  Nuh baddy nuh bizniss wid him an him mawnin' rendezvous-a mi yaad mi a try ketch.
Hennyhoo, mi 'tan up inna di bus fi di whole ride inna mi boas'y boot wid mi boas'y corn dem a spring up pon mi boas'y toe dem.  Mi tink seh mi lose mi foot dem at dis point. Talk about feeling defeated de-feeted.  De-board di bus an' is a nex' crasses.
Mi haffi a fight off di crowd fi get inna one taxi cuz rain a tear an' everybaddy wah fi g'a dem yaad. Mi a limp an a run same way a try block off di people dem wid mi elbow extended way out inna di air as a weapon of destruction fi lick dung any man, bwoy, gyal(said in the Prime Minister's tone of voice), ol' ooman(NO MISS, yuh wrong fo' dat), anybaddy( but yuh know in all a dis, mi  heels spare mi from direct contact wid di murky water wid all kinda pee-pee, spit, do-do, nose-naat an' other bodily nastiness from animal,  man .....awrite mi done, mi done, mi done).

Den mi buck a dawg a walk gingerly, a swing hip an a crass road daintily-not a sorrow, not a pain, no agony, toe dem corn-free, posture upright an' him a move well agile an' ting. Nuttin' fi slow im dung.  Mi look pon him an' den pon miself, den right back pon him an seh to him, "eeh dawg? yuh nuh wear heels!!" Di lilly dawg neva so much as  fi look pon mi-nuh teeven sideways.  Him dis scampa gone while mi a loggo-loggo dung di road.  At dis point mi jus' waah halla fi HELP!  Chile! I mek a pledge!!!! Mi cyaah subjec' miself to such cruelty.  Men don't do it, dogs don't do it(mi notice seh man an' dog have a few t'ings in common).  Why should I?
Same so mi did look, a crawl a go a mi yaad. De-feet!  Mi did haffi sen' out one SOS fi smaddy come pick mi up.  Mi foot dem dis a tremble an' mi a walk wid a deep knee bend.  Mi nuh like fi see it, so mi cuddn stan' di fac' seh it was happening to me.

God NEVA tell nobody fi mek dah boot deh-straight up.  Whoever inspired it, write mi name pon it fi mi demise.  Mi haffi go dash it weh.  




Wait! Den, a wha a gwaan yasso?  Dawg? If yuh know wah mi know.......


Ketch unnu lata!

Monday, 1 October 2012

Top 10 Jamaican Foods




1.Patty and Co-Co Bread



2.Bun and Cheese


3.Ackee and Salfish


4.Curried Goat




5.Oxtail


6.Banana Chips


7.Run-down(Mackerel)



8.Bulla


9.Toto (yay!)



10.Rice and Peas and Jerked Chicken(The two aren't necessarily eaten together but mi naw leff out di toto)





Honorary Members of the favourite Jamaican foods are fried dumplings, escoveitched fish, festival, bammy, and pudding(cornmeal and sweet potato)...What else am I missing? If you can think of anything put it in the comment section below. 

I am your peckish Jodi(nom-nom-nom)

Sunday, 30 September 2012

Rant:Downtown, the delightfully deplorable.

I had an important errand to run in the downtown area on Friday.  Visiting downtown is oftentimes therapeutic for me so I welcomed the opportunity to head on out.

Siddung inna di 22A bus headed fi downtown wid one million, seven 'undred and eighty five t'ousand, two 'undred and sixty seven(1,785,267) pickeney.  Ah dizzy from di counting.  Ribbons everywhere. Puberty inna full swing wid teenage bump a leap outta di pickeney dem pores-woi!  Every strand of hair inna di gyal pickney dem head 'tan up in stric' obedience to di styling gel.  Yuh notice seh yuh rarely see a natural hair pickeney again eida mi shudda tun hairdressa fi mek nuff money or mi fi go mek creme.

One dumb man come on pon di bus a sell peanut cake, drops an' grater cake(yuh did affi look fi know).  Di pickney dem a tease him cause a di likkle funny soun' him a mek-dem nuh fraid? Yes dem bawn areddy, but dem pickney dem nuh bawn yet-anyt'ing possible.

Barry G a play inna background. Dah man yah still deh bout?  Watch ya!  Health foundation at dat! I love JA!  Mi look outta di winda fi divert mi attention from di boring Immaculate high past student pon di radio wid Barry G-a mi alma mater but mi cyaa compromise wid dis young miss-she borin' bad! No support!
Unnu look yah- mi jus see some tiefin' police a check high powered vehicles fi rake in a bribe money-times hard yes.  Ah cyaah manage!
Bike man, truck man, jilapy(jalopy), crissas, everybaddy deh pon road whedda dem have 1/2 tank a gas or it full or di red light weh signify 'empty' a blink inna one hypnotic sequence, whedda dem have insurance or not, buy license or not, everybaddy a travel.

NO! a who poop inna di govament AC yellow bus?  Ah cyaah concentrate-dah poop yah real enuh star!

As mi look up mi si  di Vienna sausage mascot 'Vinnie' pon di billboard wid 'im guitar, mi neva even realize seh ah so sachiz(sausage) ha' talent.

Yuh si dis yah bleach out face gyal yah? When mi seh nepazone, jaze, full strent clorox, wid a splash of Harpic!!!Woy-yo-yoy!

Mi reach downtown-into the heart of the concrete jungle. Mi seh when mi pitch deh mi clearly see why dem call it so, cause a pure doggish, hoggish, animalistic behaviour di people dem a carry on wid.

Di rich aroma of weed permeate the already thick downtown atmosphere.  Mi mek sure mi rehearse what a  composite numba is, lip a jump fi ansa(refer to blog entitled  Inglorious ganja http://whamiseh.blogspot.com/2012/09/inglorious-ganja.html).

If you see di 'mount a people dem weh have on tattoo pon every part of dem anatomy, den dem bleach out dem skin till it thin an' ready fi bruk out inna sore.  NO SAH!!!!!  What is happening????  Den dem siddung inna di sunhot underneat' ten layer of clothes.  Mi spirit grope when mi see dem.  Yuh all a drop an' a 'pread weh how dem false yeyelash dem long an a trip yuh.  Anytime dem blink is a mighty gust of wind blow cross di nation. Why can't we be ourselves?  Mi naw seh wi cyaa augment enuh-caw mi personally like fi tweak here an' there, but altering one's skin tone, mutilating your body parts is beyond normal.  'Pose yuh see piercing?  Everyweh bore up AN LOOK BAD.  If it did look good well...A wah do wi?!?!?!  No mi ask wid all seriousness.
It just want one big sign dung deh fi heng crassway di light post dem weh read-ZOO.  Mi a put it to di Minister of Tourism fi consider showcasing di exotic wildlife weh deh inna di downtown area. Trus mi-dah one yah name Farrin Exchange!  





Saturday, 29 September 2012

Encourage yourself

Mi feel down yuh see?   Mi was supposed to go to a programme today but neva got to go.  Mi feel like a sell-out star, then on top of that I baked a VERY special cake for someone who I care about deeply.  He's like a father, no sah,more like an uncle to me.  He was less than impressed and I plummeted, I mean way down.  The thing about that product was that I didn't do it primarily for taste but for nutrient content.  See, this person is chronically ill, so I figured I'd apply my dietetic knowledge to provide something that would enrich his diet and in turn yield health.  I was crestfallen when he said he'd prefered a less healthy one I did previously.  I put my all into that thing (and I pride myself on producing quality cakes)!!!.  Ah man I'm taking it hard.
It's demotivating when you put your all into something and it is met with little enthusiasm.  Although I was paid, it was unrewarding. Strange?
A wonda if mi know seh a nuh everyting mi fi chat pon dis yah open forum yah! An unnu naw share nuttin' back wid me-whoiiiiiii!!!!Mi done, mi cyaah tell yuh no more. A weh yuh gone? Come back man! A wah do yuh?
Mi naw go worry yaw! I did my best-even if it was not good enough for him and he couldn't appreciate the care that I put into it, it's good enough for me.
Sometimes you have to encourage yourself!



I am my owna Jodi tonight!
Yuh haffi go fin' smaddy else tideh!
I'll be yours tomorrow again-jus' need a night off!

Fish is a vegetable!






"Are you a vegetarian?"
"Yes"
"Oh dear, had I known I would have catered some 'veggie meat', I only have fish and chicken"
"I'll have the fish"
"Yeah?" "Aren't you vegetarian?"
"Yeah, but I eat fish, I'm pescatarian!"
"Isn't fish meat?"
"NO, fish is NOT meat"
"But it's a flesh food- a food from an animal"
"No! Fish is fish!"

Fish, in the minds of many vegetarians is an incredibly agile, living, breathing, face-bearing aquatic vegetable.
Fish, one person stated to me, is a food group in and of itself.  The adjusted food groups(based on this person's reasoning) therefore are:
  • Staples
  • Legumes and Nuts
  • Vegetables
  • Fish
  • Food from Animals
  • Fruits
  • Fats and oils
(The original Caribbean Six Food groups excludes Fish as a food group, this was added to humour the suggestion but is NO WISE true).  Follow this link for the Caribbean Six Food Groups: http://www.paho.org/english/cfni/six_food_groups.pdf

According to the Caribbean Food and Nutrition Institute, the Caribbean authority on Nutrition information, fish is categorized as a Food from animal owing primarily to the major nutrient it supplies-protein.

The list of types of  'flesh' Foods from Animals are listed categorically below:
  • Fish - cod, mackerel, salmon, sardines, snapper, swordfish, trout, tuna
  • Shellfish - clams, crab, crayfish, lobster, mussels, oysters, prawns, scallops, squid (calamari)
  • Game meats- rabbit, venison(deer)
  • Meats - beef, lamb, pork, veal (including liver and kidney)
  • Poultry - chicken, duck, goose, turkey (including liver and kidney   

*Non-flesh foods from animals include eggs, milk, cheese, yoghurt etc.

The Nutrition and Dietetic community does not categorize fish as a vegetable, despite the vehement claims by vegetarians that fish is not meat. From a technical standpoint fish is not red meat, neither is it poultry; it is not game or offal(organ meats).  It falls under the category of Fish! Fish? alright-Seafood!
Fish is not a vegetable!  Seaweed is! I'm not saying that the only constituent of the vegetarian diet is derived solely from the Vegetable food group but the assumption is that  the true vegetarian subsists entirely on plant-based foods. 
Fish is lower in saturated fat content than other flesh foods and contains omega 3 fatty acids which is touted for its health benefits, thus fish seems to be the leader of the fleshy Foods from Animals group because of its health promoting effects despite its reported high levels of mercury.  It still doesn't make sense why people claim the title of 'vegetarian' when they are out rightly consuming fish-a flesh food.
Check this- Chicken is lower in saturated fat than red meats such as beef; with this kind of reasoning why can't I be a "poultro-vegetarian"- a vegetarian who eats chicken and turkey(I just coined that one don't research it).  It's the same principle-fish is no less a food from animal than is chicken.  

Vegetarianism is more than a dietary abstinence from flesh foods , it is a philosophical stance rooted in spiritualism.  We must be aware of its meaning before we claim its title.  We'd be better off claiming a plant-based, whole-foods-eating status.

The stringent measures imposed by the vegan community are understandably done because of the degeneration of animals, the method of slaughter and the inhumane treatment of animals during captivity.  Free range foods from animals products(animals reared in open spaces) are choice products.  Research establishes the association between inhumanely slaughtered animals and decreased mental health in humans, listing decreased ability to handle stress and poor management of moods among the effects of its consumption  ...you are what you eat.

Let's avoid labels.  The important thing is that we consume a largely plant-based diet.  If you choose to indulge food from animals occasionally, or daily in limited amounts of the lean variety(skinless) as in the Mediterranean Diet, you will also benefit from lower cholesterol levels, lowered risk of heart disease and other chronic diseases-hypertension and diabetes.

The bible speaks of goat's milk, honey, cheese, and butter-all by-products of animals.  They were staple products in the Israelite diet.  Honey and locusts were prescribed for partakers of the Nazarite vow.  

We are commissioned to "call no man common nor unclean". It creates division and how dare we, when the only scriptural indictment on meat eating was given against consuming blood and organ meats(offal).  Let's just give thanks, eat, belch an' poop!

Mi aggo scale mi green leafy vegetable yah now!


If mi cudda jus' ketch it!  How dis yah veg a run so man-woi! a tyad!  Come 'ere! Y'a go dead tideh!

Monday, 24 September 2012

A cyaah title dah one yah

No brah!!!!!
Mi neva a plan fi pos', BUT when mi buck dis yah news yah, mi haffi renege pon mi promise to miself fi pos' pon wednesday.
Mi a comb di net fi a work when mi come crass dis yah:

Community Peer Educator
Category:Health
Description:
* HIV/AIDS Prevention & Control Programme: St. Ann and St. Mary 
  • Identifying and visiting Adolescent group, Young Adults, Sex Workers,Workplace and high risk areas/communities.
  • Facilitating and conducting risk reduction sessions with high risk groups.
  • Facilitating and conducting targeted community interventions.
  • Conducting rapid HIV test and counselling sessions per health district
Qualifications:
  • At least five CXC subjects and/or Diploma in Health Promotion, Education, Social Sciences, Social Work, Marketing, and Community Development.
  • Basic knowledge of HIV/STIs, Behaviour Change, Public Health and Health Promotion
  • Ability to communicate effectively with peers and with people in authority
  • Experience in attending night clubs, bars and exotic clubs
Deadline:October 12, 2012

A beg yuh view di highlighted carefully.
Mi neva tink mi wudda see di day when dirtiness wudda be an asset-rather-a qualification fi a legit wok!!!!

Tell mi dis!!!!!

Aye sah!

Mi gone yaw!

Lata!

Sunday, 23 September 2012

Lifelong learning

I'm lost.  Help me out a little here.
I hear of students enrolled in University switching programmes, an' dem poor parents nuh have it.
Di minute you switch yuh jus gradiate-no cum laude-nuttin.  Wi jus host an informal gradiation wid yuh madda as the commencement speaker, an' wi finish off wid a few slice a toto an' a glass a water.  Dat is in store fi any pickeney of mine who feel like dem wah fi switch OR yuh finance yuh owna education.  Inna dem yah hard times yah yuh nuh know wah fi do wid yuh life?
Prior to enrollment in college we need to carefully assess the decision the child has made.  Is there a market for it? Does the child have the aptitude for it?  Yuh disciplined enough?  Mine yuh en' up a trade school enuh-an dat is not a threat-yuh just might be better off.  No child is dunce.  You just have to find your niche.  Mek wi fin' out before mi staat spen' nuh whole heap a money nuh miss!
Bout inna your third year yuh nuh badda sure- No! yuh betta sure!  Finish it an' tek up someting pon yuh owna finance-pickeny haffi learn responsibility man.  Life nuh go so.
Yuh deh a school fi yuh whole life-put a different spin pon lifelong learning.  Not in my pocket book.

AWOAH!

Dis yah donkey yah bigga dan my back

The proverbial tale of the man carrying a donkey on his back may seem nonsensical (find the Aesop Fable here: http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/type1215.html), UNTIL yuh staat fi carry yuh owna dankey.
There are people in your life who you cannot afford to entertain-under ANY circumstance-these are your donkeys.  These people have no ends a prablem-pure crasses, mi mean e-n-d-l-e-s-s of the unsolvable sort.  Did somebody say burdensome?
There is a difference between di donkey dem an' people who are going through life tragedies and need a shoulder to cry on.  Donkeys come een like a recurring nightmare-dem cyaah eva guh weh, dem ever present with the SAME story even after you've provided feasible solutions and have invested hours-nay- days into giving an ear.
There is a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing-a season for everything under the sun.  These people sap the energy from your life with their constant negativity.  You must know when to put an end to a perpetual cycle.  The devil uses these people as henchmen to prevent you from experiencing the fullness of joy you were meant to have-keepin' yuh up all night(wid di digicel 11 till daylight plan weh God neva inspire none-t'all) till yuh yeye bag dem a heng like tief pon crass.  It is not fair!  Yes! you who are stronger must strengthen those who are weak, I am aiming this discourse, however, at the ones who are never going to be alright, those for whom there will never be a sun in the sky.  If you've never encountered such a person-happy are ye, if you have like I have-woe unto you.


You know you are carrying a donkey when:

1. Yuh haffi a dodge people an' when yuh phone a ring yuh heart staat fi beat faas'. No peace!
2. Yuh tyad fi give unheeded advice.
3. Yuh ears a ring sake a di brayin'-they complain endlessly.
4.  They've already made up their mind as to what they are going to do with their life and are trying to convince you to be in agreement with it.  Their obstinate position makes their mental guard impenetrable. Stubban!
5. No Matlock cyaah solve di mysteries dem come wid.
6. Everybaddy roun' yuh a look pan yuh strange.  There is wisdom in counsel.  If those around you think you're being unduly pressured from this source of mental battery, it's probably true.

Tips for de-mounting di donkey from off yuh back:

1. Let them know the effect they're having on your mental health.  If it's bad enough you'll see the merit in taking this stance.
2.Refuse to answer their calls(after you've given them an ultimatum) OR give them a time limit on a call.  eg. "I only have five minutes to spare today.  I'm sorry but I'm really busy". Remember you have a divine responsibility to "protec' yuhself,protec' yuhself"-whatsoever things are good, pure, honest,...think on these things.  Donkey ha' credit enuh people-NUFF!  An dem know how fi stalk yuh prapally, 'bout "oops, we meet again" (did I hear a hee-haw?)jus' happen fi ALWAYS 'bump' into you-heh-dat deh carefully calculated mi fren-RUNNNN!!!!
3. Refer them to a more competent source than yourself.  Acknowledge your limitations-yuh cyaah solve everybaddy's prablems.  Some situations are so deeply rooted in past hurts and complex issues that only skilled clinicians wid di aid of di Trinity can help.

I am in no wise insensitive to human suffering.  I am aware though that I am not entirely equipped or mature enough to handle every single thing thrown my way.  Sometimes yuh haffi bow out gracefully.  That knowledge is empowering.  Furthermore, dankey mek fi bear burden!!!

Feel free to disagree with this post, state your position and let's work it out.

Tek care people and have a GREAT week.
You'll hear from me again soon.

Hugs!

I am your one and only Jodi!(mi nuh bizniss how much Jodi yuh know)



Thursday, 20 September 2012

The bake sale report

So I told you that I'd report on the bake sale(refer to Bewildered Baker).

AYE SAH!!!!!
It. Was. Not. A. Success.(by man's standard)  I had no energy whatsoever.  To top it all off, I lost about 1/3 of the products to spoilage-the risky part of selling perishable goods.  Mi haffi go mek some rubba toto yaw!  Awrite I'm tired, you know let me not do this now-rubber toto? really Miss?
This is life-unpredictable! Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.
I've had to take heart and submit to that awareness.  Failure is every bit as important as success.  There is an openness in the human spirit that follows failure that allows for deep learning which facilitates understanding.
Whilst I experienced financial loss, I gained morally and mentally.
I'm less afraid of that 'f' word now.  Listen, tek yuh likkle nasty...FAILURE is what I'm referring to.
Losing fear is a huge success in and of itself and the more I fail the more of it I lose which means that the more I fail, the more successful I become.  Makes sense?  I did not sign up with the Weed Head Academy(refer to blog post entitled Inglorious ganja http://whamiseh.blogspot.com/2012/09/inglorious-ganja.html )!!

This business is preparing me for life.  The lessons are transferable.  My love for people has been rekindled and I've discovered new and novel ways of penetrating the market with healthy baked products void of dairy, fat and eggs!!!

A special shout out to Mrs. Mc-Laughlin who taught me this skill. G.r.a.t.i.t.u.d.e.

Well guys pick out what you can from this post-ultimately-commit to juicing life of EVERYTHING it has to offer-E'RTHANG!

Later lil' ones.

I _m y_ur J_di

The wound that heals

This is partly a re-post of a blog I'd posted previously.  It chronicled a lil' heartbreak I'd encountered.

Heartbreak Hotel


"I'm so torn, I can't even cry.  This blog has become my go-to cathartic experience.
Ahhhh!
For a lil' while now, I've been crushing on this dude.  Thing with me is that I crush on people that express interest in me first.  So it was a reciprocated thang.
In my little mind, I thought I was his 'it', you know, the sweetest little thing.  Imagine the HORROR when I discovered this dawg sh#t(Jodi NO! get it together) was just a player,  filling the minds of vulnerable girls with no ends of garbage.  My instincts had warned me.  I just refused to listen.
I feel busted, broken, shattered, just out of it!  I can't even focus.  This nauseating feeling has swept over my soul.  When did I become Leah? #biblical reference
Man I was played big time.  Can't even relate the details. JEEZ!
I just wanted to put this in writing.  It has no resolution yet.
Good thing is, it was only a crush.  Nothing more.  Lord I thank you that you brought it to my attention.  Bugger doesn't yet know that I know.  Hmph!  Well! Life goes on and so must I.

Toodles!

I am your brokenhearted Jodi :-("


A week later, I'm thankful for the experience.  It inspired a song I intend on 'putting out there', it helped shape my perspective on emotional vulnerability-propelling me to a higher sense of caution, responsibility and accountability to myself; my self-worth and value have been restored, best of all, I've reconnected with a God whose friendship is enduring-nothing I do or say will turn Him off of me, cuz His love is unconditional-that's comforting; it builds confidence and trust and I'm better off for this experience.
I'm no longer angry, I've found my peace.  
Look out for the song-it's coming soon.

I'm yours...

Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Trading on your talents

What do you have in your hand?
No, not necessarily that fork yuh using fi chow dung di large portion of dark green leafy vegetables that you're supposed to be consuming daily(hmmm-right!)
What I mean is, what are your areas of giftedness?
Becoming the best we can be is a divine commission.  We were placed here to develop in every possible way.  Reading the Old Testament has exposed me to God's ideal for His people: Prosperity!  Yeah I said it! Read mi outta church now.  In the parable of the talents found in Matthew 25:13-30, we see the expectation that God has for us-that we should maximize on what he has blessed us with.  We ought to demonstrate stewardship which should yield returns.

This is especially for the unemployed or those whose income may need to be supplemented; what can you do that can serve as an income generating project?
There is no shame in work.  Whatever it may be-as long as it's honest, gratifying and performed with integrity.

I encourage you to take a moment for introspection.  What can you do to increase your potential earnings, and by extension, the quality of your life?

I am your caring Jodi

Sunday, 16 September 2012

Inglorious ganja?

Mi Seh!
Mi mek likkle sales to mi neighbour dem here an' dere.  Decided to venture dung di road likkle further and ran into a few old classmates and an old friend from primary school.
Hennyhoo-as mi bruk di corner fi head dung di stretch fi deliver mi lifesavin' toto, nuh a line a weed head man mi see string off pon di side a di road.  So mi pass quietly an' gi' out a courteous "goodnight".  Di head of di weed head council, mi know caw him have di bigges' spliff an' him look di frassest seh to mi-"Hey, gi' mi a minute".  Now mi KNOW SEH dat deh OUT!  Mi naw stop inna no dark alley wid dem deh-fi come proselytize mi.  So mi pick up speed.  Hear him a call out wid urgency now, "Gimme a minute man", when mi reach a safe distance mi tell him fi holla out di request.
Hear di man to mi, "What is a composite number?"
WHOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I laugh so till I nearly dead caw mi cuddn' believe seh a dat deh height of meditation weed cudda tek yuh.  But mi stop laugh when mi realize seh mi never know(or memba) di ansa.  An fi tink seh mi reasonably educated-g'a college an' ting (an' dat is g-sat requirement stuff).  Mi staat fi feel shame.  So mi haffi run come a mi yaad an' google it.
Mi seh- look yah now-mi nuh waa none a unnu a walk pon di road an' any random weed head posit dese deep scientific questions pon unnu unawares.  Get in the know!  Lawd hav' mercy-ah cuddn' believe!  Dem seh out of the mouth of suckling babes?  Mi seh out of the mouths of weed heads!  Mi shudda sign up fi extra lessons from di Weed Head Academy.  Mi wudda prabably be betta off.

See it yah! http://www.mathsisfun.com/definitions/composite-number.html

Composite Number

more ...

A Composite Number can be divided evenly by numbers other than 1 or itself.

Example: 9 can be divided evenly by 1, 3 and 9, so 9 is a composite number.

But 7 can only be divided evenly by 1 and 7, so 7 is NOT a composite number (it is a Prime Number).

Mi give tanks to His royal "Highness"  fi bringing di awareness an' instilling in me the import of remembering foundational concepts.  This is not about composite numbers alone enuh people.  Is life!  Tek time out fi review past lessons, and walk with the gems of wisdom so you'll always be ready to give an answer in defense of  your philosophical stance in life.

Tek care mi peops!

Mi tell unnu all the time-unnu wah hear again-I am YOUR Jodi!
Satisfied?

Bewildered Baker

Hmph!
Is jus' a matta of time before this blog comes full circle back to di Toto ting.  Now, me did plan fi have one hell-ebba( hell-of-a) bake sale.
Mi puddung a piece a baking yuh see?
Mi siddung yah inna mi room a try nuh fi despondent caw- 'pose yuh see RAIN!!!!!!
Lawd Jeezam, a how dis aggo go?
Who aggo trudge tru di rain fi come buy puddn'?
Aye-ya-yay!

A beg yuh hol' on fi di report.

Lata boos!

Thursday, 13 September 2012

The Virtuous Woman

When I think 'virtuous woman', I instinctively think of a virginal little lady waiting patiently on a partner.  At least, that's the idea that has been promulgated especially to young Christian women.  





The Virtue debate: Virgin vs. Pure
Just to digress a bit (as I often do-pray for my brain y'all), virgin is not the same as pure.  The two may in many cases not even be mutually inclusive.  The fact is, many persons are virgins simply because of lack of opportunity to engage in sexual activities whether because of tight security forces called parents or guardians, or because insecurities create a mental barrier that prevents sexual expression.  There are yet others who decide to save themselves for their husbands as we are commanded to do in the scriptures.  Engaging in sexual practices such as kissing(wait! yuh neva know!), mutual masturbation, oral sex, anal sex and other creative methods of circumventing full-blown "sex" does not disqualify one from claiming the title of virgin based on the dictionary's definition of 'virgin' which defines this individual as," A person who has not experienced sexual intercourse"-that is sexual penetration.    
Your mental state plays an important role in determining your status as pure or impure.  What about persons who have been forced against their will to perform sexual activity yet maintain a circumspect position?  What do we call them? PURE!  A distinction should be made.  Virginity is celebrated even though it may not be grounded in the core trait-purity.  My exhortation is that whatever our status, we commit to purity as the foundation of our sexuality.  Purity is what we should advocate.  NOTE WELL-Even when married, we are expected to maintain purity which would include fidelity as a core tenet.  It also means that our sexual practices would meet heaven's approval.  Huh? Yup!  That's why I believe we should all know God well before we commit to any relationship, you see, we like to put God in a box like seh Him a one PC or doughnut-dat cyaah wok.  If we knew Him, we wouldn't be afraid to approach Him regarding our sexuality and pray that He inspires creativity and awe in our sexual expression.    We speak too little about these things, we are as sexual a being as we are spiritual and might I add that they are both inextricably related.

As I prayerfully contemplated my life's direction one day, I reverted to Proverbs 31 for clarity(that's where the biblical qualification of a virtuous woman is located).  I was stunned when I did not see ONE sexual reference.  As I stated in the intro...my thoughts on virtue were linked to sexual abstemiousness.  Imagine when I saw that the virtuous woman was an entrepreneur!!!  Shock-ment-alization!  Yeah?  This biblical woman was so busy meeting her family's needs, increasing wealth and ensuring her household's wellness, that she had no time for folly.  I took it to heart.  This is the message that needs to be heralded to young women.

Proverbs 31 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+31&version=KJV
 Let us strive for God's ideal by adopting a business-like approach to our life tasks.

Love u guys!
Catch u later!

I am your tired (but loving) Jodi

Hugs!

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

He's got the whole world...

Ever wished you could google your life?  (Don't leave me hanging-Please say yes!)  It's just sometimes I wonder what's in store for me-my anxieties get the better of me in those seasons I suppose.  I think it's better I not see it-perhaps I'd want to fast forward some parts, other parts I'd probably try to prolong, I'd make a whole mess of it...that's why God is in charge and not me.
I've endured trying times I thought would never pass.  Today I look in retrospect at periods that seemed unconquerable and I can't even remember the pain.  God's grace does have a numbing effect.  I'm so happy that one season doesn't last forever.
What's up with you?  Everything ok?  If not, it will be.  Shakespeare's right-All's well that ends well.  Scripture reiterates-he that endures to the end, he shall be saved.
Let's hold on...a lil' while longer.  God's building spirituAL MUSCLE.(A wah do da caps button yah man? mi naw delete it enuh!)  Let's press guys, press towards the mark of the high calling of God in Jesus our Lord.
Wi naw worry, implicit trus' wi seh!  No wavering-feet planted in the Divine.
Awright people.
Mi gone y'hear.

We'll link soon.
Yeah man-I am still your Jodi-dat naw change.

Bless!

Of bottoms and books...

I want to share a struggle that I'm having- a real mental battle-and I suppose putting it all out there will umm...(hisses teeth)yuh know wah mi mean. Cho yaw!
Our society values education-highly.  "Education is key" is right up there with "Repent and be converted"(we're also a very spiritual nation) alongside "Don't scratch your bottom in public"(???-maybe not that one, but I wish that were a popular one).  Let me digress a little bit to express my concern for our public health and safety.  We'll labour on that 'bottom scratching' point a little bit.  Now having taken a course in microbiology for my undergraduate programme, I am  all too keen on the microscopic units that threaten our lives and safety.  We live in a world where there is but scant regard for hygiene and sanitation.
Check this scenario-yuh jump in a taxi inna yuh hot clothes-yuh bade and smell fresh.

  •  finger nail clean?-check! 
  • back-a-ears wipe dung an' earshole de-waxed?-check!
  • foot back lotion?-check
  • powder pon ches'?-hopefully NOT check!-yuh too ghetto!woi!
  • clean underwear?-check!
  • everyting else in tact?-check!
After yuh put in all a dat effort, one sour smaddy usually grossly overweight sitting on your right just spread dem jelly all inna yuh paats-complete wid sweat and odour.  Mi personally nuh like people body juices a drip pon mi enuh-nuh when mi go di extra mile. Den imagine seh di man pon di leff jus' come offa him site work an' green like a callaloo patch.   People a dig out dem buggu an' a give di taxi man dem fare.   Di taxi man dis release a gallon a *orange-bag-juice-coloured(thanks Carla)*pee-pee pon di side a di road, jump inna di taxi fi mek yuh change- an' a pure coin yuh a get back. Look yah! Is a miracle wi alive!
Nuh badda venture inna food preparation 'cause yuh naw go recova from di heart attack-tank God fi what we do not know!
Hennyhoo-ah nuh teeven dis mi come on fi talk bout enuh.  (Side note) Mi miss unnu tideh so till.  Unnu miss me?  Yuh too lie!
Wha mi waa' talk bout is the pursuit of advanced degrees in this season of job-lessness.  
I'm being encouraged to pursue an advanced degree.  Now hear dis, since mi graduate over a year ago, I've not been placed in the gov't position I've been promised.  The economic climate is...yes, harsh!  As such, if one is not entrepreneurial in mindset-dawg nyam yuh AN' yuh suppa!  Breaking into any industry is no mean task.   It requires everything you have and a little bit more.  Succinctly, I have no time for books. None whatsoever.  But wouldn't the advanced degree provide better job opportunities, one may ask?  WHICH JOB???  Having your own effort is the most prudent thing one can do for oneself.  Amidst all the banter I feel like I just need to settle into the fact that I'm my own boss-not just for now-for life!
This stream of consciousness is not for everyone.  I'm a little bit offbeat-no, maybe a lot-so it works for me.  I guess I want to openly state my purpose, it's not that I lack ambition, but I see myself being of more usefulness by putting my shoulder to the wheel.  My profession doesn't yield the clientelle that I anticipated but everybody haffi eat- so I market healthy products.  I refuse to surrender my passion for Nutrition and Dietetics, I'm taking the unconventional route to engage that discipline.
I walked on NCU campus yesterday and felt a gut-wrenching pain because I know there aren't enough jobs for these kids to fill, and I know the struggle they have in coming up with tuition(mi know caw dem cyaah afford mi toto).  Aye sah!
I believe every family should instill entrepreneurial  values in the home.  That is something I'm very passionate about.  Each child should be taught how to raise money "because these are some serious times, all I can see...."
Love you guys!
Share your thoughts.

I'm whose Jodi?
Yours!
See u soon!

Monday, 10 September 2012

Toto village: a place called Mandeville

Whew!  Mi praperly tired! mm-mm!  Mi naw lie, dem ya higglering wok yah nuh easy at all!  Props to all higglers out there-NUFF RESPEC'(don't tief di big up if you are not a higgler-we are an exclusive community).  As a junior hustler learning the ropes mi a tell yuh man, is a lot of hit an' misses and unrelenting perseverance.

So mi ride come today.  Hip hip?.....Finish it, das rite- hooray!
Mi leff out wid mi hamper full of goodies- coconut drops, banana pudding, bread pudding and the infamous TOTO(big up!-my absolute fave!).  Today would be a special day though 'cause I'd have an entourage to lend support.
Four a wi(Le-Noi, Oshaine, mi cousin Claudia an' miself) a pace di campus a look fi any crusty lip pickeney fi wipe out di white squawl epidemic wid di products. Le-Noi provided the muscle-a carry roun' di bag, Oshaine a market di ting dem an' wi pimp out Claudia wid har hot self fi soften the groun' before wi hit di target dem, me scout out an' drive home di sale.  What a team!  A who seh Fantastic Four?  So mi seh too.
Yes sah!
 Mi realize seh a pride did a hol' mi back from hittin' the market the right way.  Listen! Hear mi good!  Dis pride ting CYAAH work enuh!!! NO!  Pride undergirds fear which limits our potential for growth, exploration, and attainment of goals.  It prevents us from living in enlightenment and prosperity.  We must abandon this most ruinous trait if ever we are to become our best selves.  So mi staat look pon everybaddy as a prospec'.  Mi approach everybaddy.  Di ting is, di people who mi was most skeptical about was the people who supported me the most.  Wha mi seh?  JUDGE NOT!!!  An' di smaddy dem who me SURE bout a di one dem weh naw seh nuttin'-what a ting!  Wi cyaah mek wi ill-guided perceptions guide wi reality, because wi miss out on perfectly wonderful opportunities to extend ourselves.
I especially enjoyed today because the focus was different.  I engaged my inner Dietitian and enhanced my sales pitch with some heartfelt Nutrition Education.  I fell in love with the prospects and so whether or not they purchased anything at all our encounter was fulfilling.
I don't know what the future holds but I'm willing to learn life  lessons every single day(and I intend on sharing them with you-yuh can share too enuh-das why dere is a comments section below-nuh badda mean up wid di ting).  I'm not sure how I'll maintain my Mandeville market but I'm taking each day as it comes.

Let me use this as an opportunity to encourage you in whatever endeavour you may be strongly considering or may be embarking on, to do so with your whole heart, mind, soul and spirit.
The other day I thought about how some people sell their bodies(like how mi did haffi pimp out dear Claudia today-yuh know it's hard out here for a ____What?If you watched Hustle and Flow you know), then others sell their souls, I figure if we all have to sell something then I may as well sell my spirit.  That's something I'm comfortable with.
May this blog serve as a source of spiritual renewal(an' spiritual nuh mean Bible alone).  Mi want unnu fi know seh we can all mek it- even when things haad an' times tough.

Mi gone a mi bed...someting spicy a come up.  U jus' wait fi di pos'.

Tek care mi childrens.

Tank yuh Le-Noi!  Tank yuh Oshaine!  Tank yuh Claudia(bow-chica-wow-wow)!  Mi cuddn' do it widout unnu!

Much love to you all in blogland.

I am who? Your Jodi!

Be blessed.....

Oh and yes! mi did sell off!!!!!